Hey Blog! Long time, no see!
I went through the stats of my blog, and I’ve written a grand total of three times since the beginning of November and not once this December. Sometimes, these stats are fun to look at, but they were telling to me.
#tellingyouwhatyoumightask
- I. Am. Tired. My kids are out of the house (kind of) but I feel like I’ve been busier than ever before. True, basketball season just ended, but even with that, it seems like I’ve gotten less sleep worrying about stuff going on at home and at school. I love my job, but sometimes I wonder what my job is doing to me. I need to do something to deal with the stress, which leads me to Number 2.
- I know I’m tired, but I need to find an exercise routine. Three years out from a cancer operation and very mild stroke, I don’t feel healthy. My weight is up, my energy is down, and I know things need to change. But, the “gym” in the nearest town is $70 a month for the two of us, which is a lot of cash in our strained budget. The more inexpensive route takes us 10 miles out of the way, and if we work out together, we are getting home at 6:30 PM two nights a week.
- I read a blog titled, #AMonthofFavs This Is How I Blogged in 2019, by Akilah. In it, she talks about missing the weekly check-ins, which I’ve missed as well. Two Writing Teachers does a great job of getting their weekly Slice of Life out there, and I’ve just not made the time. I miss those connections and have to find that time to write.
- I need to write. It’s evident in the last couple of months that writing is good for me, for my mental health, and for my overall state of mind. I’m not sure how many people around my area even know I do this, but there are some, so I can’t tell some of the stories I’d want, but just letting go of some of the emotions needs to happen.
- You have stories when you have friends to create stories within the community. We’ve been outsiders looking in for many years, and it may lead to some personal changes in our own lives as to where we call home. A former student, Kara (author of the blog, For All the F Words), writes about things she’s NOT envious of at the end of her current blog: “Oh, and living in a place where I don’t have an army of friends willing to move mountains for me “. I am extremely envious of her having found this as it shows in the stories she can tell. My stories of friendship and craziness are limited to say the least.
- I am average. I’m an average teacher on a good day, an average parent, average husband. I’ve got my good days and my not so good days, and I know self-reflection is a b*tch, but I look in the mirror and don’t see exceptional. Josiah Samual Harry (author of the blog, Skylarity) rattles off some startling statistics in his most recent writing about being average. Things like the average American watches 33 hours of TV a week, spends two hours a day on social media, and has less than $1,000 in savings (check out his blog here).
Good grief, dude, you got all that from looking at your statistics about your blog?? No, not exactly, but the lack of writing leads to reflecting on WHY you aren’t writing. The “whys” in life are sometimes tough to swallow, as self-reflection often is. Seeing a half dozen unfinished blogs in my draft folder tells me that I’m not getting things done. It makes me wonder what else I’m not getting done. I started strong with my “Mr. J’s Don’t Forget Stuff” notebook. I need to find that notebook and pull it out again. Writing not only means purging and storytelling, it means asking yourself, “what’s next,” and getting it on paper so you follow through.
So, what do I do now? Relax. As Christmas Break has started, my resting heart rate is down. I know I have to start exercising, so I’m finding free options online, and I’m writing. Yes, it’s 2:20 AM, but I found myself tossing and turning, so I’m using this bit of insomnia to my advantage. Things don’t change overnight, and I hate change. But, for my own well being, things need to, and that’s what I plan on doing.
And if I don’t “see” you, have a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or Happy Festivus. I hope you are finding peace, and keep that peace with you in 2020.
I know I will try to do the same! 🙂
December 24, 2019 at 4:08 am
Somehow although we lead very different lives you posts so often match my own internal thoughts. Thanks for always keeping it real.
December 24, 2019 at 9:07 am
Someone told me, “Wow, you are brave to put that out there in your blog! I couldn’t do it!”. I don’t know any different! It’s just how I write and I don’t think I could change it if I wanted to! I will say it makes me happy that you can relate! That’s my biggest fear, people cannot relate to this rural Iowan. 🙂 Enjoy your holidays and have a great start in 2020!
December 24, 2019 at 4:30 am
Honest reflection. Thank you for this. I could relate to it. Wishing you self-compassion as you look at what is not there and energy to bring about the change you wish for.
December 24, 2019 at 9:08 am
Self-reflection is hard, especially at 2:30 in the morning! However, as I get up and read the blog, I wouldn’t change anything. Thank you for the wishes, they are mine as well! Here’s to a happy holiday season and a peaceful start to 2020! 🙂
December 24, 2019 at 5:26 am
Relax, yes. Find peace, yes.
Kevin
December 24, 2019 at 9:42 pm
If we could do these things, imagine how much better we could be! Thanks for compressing 700+ words into two simple statements! 🙂
Enjoy your holidays and have a magnificent start to 2020!
December 24, 2019 at 6:45 am
I look forward to reading more in 2020!
December 24, 2019 at 9:42 pm
And I’m looking forward to writing it for everyone! 🙂
December 24, 2019 at 7:16 am
It is so easy to see the worst in ourselves. You are an educator who writes a blog- that is to be celebrated- even if you haven’t written as much as you wish you did. Teaching and parenting are so hard. We all make mistakes. Who’s to say who is average and who is exceptional? As far as the exercise goes, have you tried online exercise programs? I do not drink Shakeology but did purchase a Beachbody on Demand membership. It costs about $100 for a year and you do need to stream it from something like Apple TV. There are tons of workouts on there to pick from. This could help with your exercise dilemma and you and your wife can do the workouts together or do them at different times of day. It is good to be real with ourselves and change what isn’t bringing happiness but I hope you celebrate all that you are doing right, too. You deserve grace.
January 1, 2020 at 4:43 pm
We’ve looked in Beachbody before. Our problem, our Internet is trash here in the boonies! lol! 🙂
We’ll see what we can do about both the excercise and just being real with everything. We’ll try to celebrate, that is for sure! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
December 24, 2019 at 9:09 am
I’m visiting a friend for two weeks so am unable to get to my regular gym classes. Like you, I was not feeling healthy because my weight is up, so I started walking around her neighborhood for thirty minutes a day. I say this like it was inspired by myself, but my doctor ordered me to walk thirty minutes a day earlier this year, which I usually do when I don’t go to the gym. I already feel better.
Happy holidays, Darin. I hope you’re able to use the break to refresh.
January 1, 2020 at 4:32 pm
> I hope you’re able to use the break to refresh.<
A little refresh, a little reboot, and a little just me time! 🙂 Doing some walking probably isn't a bad idea, just to get started. 🙂
Happy New Year! I hope you find 2020 full of joyful challenges! 🙂
December 24, 2019 at 4:04 pm
The sentence that got me: “ I love my job, but sometimes I wonder what my job is doing to me.“ It seems as though increasing numbers of teachers feel this way.
I also live in a “closed” community. It is tough. I empathize.
I’ve been in that exercise rut. This will sound lazy, but I look for exercise routines I can do on the floor. I also practice yoga.
I bet there are many students who do t see you as average, who see you as the caring teacher who makes school a better place. Find them. They will elevate and motivate your practice.
Happy Holidays!
January 1, 2020 at 4:29 pm
> Find them. They will elevate and motivate your practice.<
Sage advice. These are the students who will make things worth while in the end.
Thanks for stopping by (a while ago)! 🙂
December 25, 2019 at 3:11 am
You do not strike me as “average” – in this post, and in previous ones, I see a trail of perseverance, of overcoming and pressing on (cancer, a mild stroke, parenthood, teaching … good heavens!), I so relate to being tired. I especially appreciate your perspective on all the whys of not writing – in short, life is demanding, it’s just so DAILY – and the need for writing. I think a lot about mental and spiritual health these days; writing is invaluable to these, as exercise is to the body. My youngest son (Cadillac Man) and I spent a lot of time walking together last year (we need to get back into our routine) and it did wonders for out holistic well-being – physically, mentally, spiritually. Walking also gets those creative juices flowing (and oh, am I all about telling those stories!). Here’s to pressing on; with this post, you just had a great workout. It’s weird but I find that when I carve out writing time (whenever it can be carved, it’s not a set time), that I somehow seem to create more “space” in my day instead of cramming it. It’s a peculiar inverse thing. Last but not least, Merry Christmas to you and all yours, Darin – here’s to keeping it and ourselves well, and living the writerly life. 🙂
December 26, 2019 at 12:01 pm
Merry Christmas, Darin 🙂 I enjoy reading your blog and hope you’ll find more time to write next year (and generally that you’re able to do more of the things that do you well). Change is hard indeed but I’m sure you can do it! 🙂 Hugs from Switzerland.
December 27, 2019 at 6:55 pm
Merry Christmas (a few days late) and an almost Happy New Year! Your words mean a lot, considering the change you’ve endured. You’ve faced change and you’ve come out better because of it! I hope you have a spectacular start to 2020! I look forward to reading more of your work as well! 🙂