I am Pooh Bear. Stuck
This is what midlife feels like to me right now. My wife and I are both in that position in our lives where we just don’t feel like we are doing anything important. Our kids are raised and out on their own. One daughter is official working for John Deere, the other working to get her degree. Both planning on moving far away from Iowa when and if the opportunity presents itself (a special thanks to those around here and the state level who have pass policies that help our sons and daughters see this as a backward state to leave when they can, but I digress).
And it’s not that we don’t have positive in our lives. The above mentioned daughters have brought great joy to our lives. We each have rewarding careers, to a point. My wife struggles with the idea that her district won’t accept her years at Headstart as years of experience (even though the Headstart program offers so much more than the district program). Myself, our district is going through some financial upheaval with few years offering us not much more than the idea that we have to have change thrust upon us, yet again. If I leave, I’ll take a major pay cut and honestly, who’s going to want to hire a 50 year old teacher who is much more expensive than the 23 year olds coming out of college. I have friends who I’ve taught with for two decades who, because of early retirement, will not be coming back next year as well.
We have a home that is, well, a home. We are comfortable in it and our one project for Covid, replacing our old tub and shower with a combination set with a jacuzzi blowers, is finally done. That wild ride began LAST MAY, having us quitting our plumber, watching the installation date being pushed back twice, then having many of our old pipes being replaced, getting the holes fixed, and finally, everything paid off.
So, what do we do? I’m not sure. I did a 10 day Covid quarantine and sitting at home is NOT the best life choice. However, with Covid around, our choices are so limited right now. I’d love to go visit family. We are “planning” a trip to the East Coast to visit some spots that my wife found with her genealogy searching (she had relatives come over on the Mayflower, with another being accused of being a witch!). I’d love to see a Red Sox game, see the ocean again, and visit her family along the coast. I’d love to see my own family, drink wine with my parents, see my brother and his family, and go bother my daughters.
Yup, if we get Covid out of the way.
So, what have you done when you’ve felt stuck? How have you moved past that feeling of not having a purpose? I love to hear your thoughts.
And if you’ve made it this far, again, thank you! I’ll admit, I love the fact I have many people (no, I’ll not mock myself anymore about readership) who read this and I love the feedback from my work. Have a voice is something I never expected to have and I’m thankful for each person that stops by to both read and comment.
You know it! 🙂
January 19, 2021 at 11:31 pm
It’s been a while since I’ve been here, and I see what I’ve been missing. I love your sweet, honest sharing of your heart. And you always share truth in the commentary, like the Iowa brain drain. Congratulations on the remodeling in the bathroom. Though a lot of work, I’m sure the end result is being enjoyed in this too-much-time-at-home era. I hope you get to take your trip in 2021.
Yes, stuck is not a good place to be. In some ways, Covid has stuck us into a year-long last March.
I guess for me, helping getting me unstuck includes reading, writing, and praying. All the best to you in 2021!
January 21, 2021 at 7:53 am
“And you always share truth in the commentary, like the Iowa brain drain. ”
This is the part that makes me the most upset. So many former students have fled Iowa simply because the opportunities are not here. The policies that we are passing are not encouraging said opportunities, so I see more of this happening. Our population is becoming older, our tax base weaken, and yet, we are talking about MORE tax cuts! Ugh! As it is, we’ll keep trying to find those outlets (as few as they may be) for our angst! Updating our home seems to be a good one right now, so what else can we tear down? 🙂
Thanks for the comment, and welcome back! 😀
January 21, 2021 at 5:49 am
“Stuck” is an apt word for where many of us are, right now. Mental health often involves planning for something soul-filling, fun, celebrations…and the pandemic has robbed us of a lot of those opportunities. Just when I think I’ve got this thing down, COVID moves closer into our personal circles, and the underlying anxiety flares up again. The only suggestion I can offer is to make those plans, just don’t set dates quite yet! I’ve read somewhere that a lot of the happiness we feel over coming events stems from the planning of them.
January 21, 2021 at 7:51 am
And no “dates” are set in stone because we don’t mind flying by the seat of our pants. That being said, I’m a bit of a planner when it comes to going places, so the “wait and see” idea is a bit stressful. Thanks for the common sense comment! I do appreciate it!
January 21, 2021 at 6:43 am
When stuck, like Pooh you say, “Oh bother.” 🙂 And going into retirement is hard! My husband and I both missed that connection with the kids and sub one to two days a week and love it. My husband and I have a few activities we both love doing together and we each have our own activities we enjoy independently. And once things get better with Covid, travel can be added to your list of fun! And another Pooh quote…“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”
—Winnie the Pooh
January 21, 2021 at 7:50 am
Pooh Bear was an old soul, wise beyond his years. Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It’s given me more to think about! 🙂
January 24, 2021 at 10:40 am
My life feels like it’s been in upheaval for several years, lays offs, working as a temp/contract – employment remaining as contract…no benefits. But especially the last few years when we packed up and relocated from Southern California to Central Oregon. I have had a total of 6 jobs in that time. Three being lay offs, one holiday work, and 2 I left for those jobs that laid me off. We had kids later in life, so my kids are 17 and 15 (junior/freshman) so we will have them home for a bit and I’m about to turn 50 in a couple months. And no job. It’s very humbling and always living on Faith. God has always taken care of us, but I sure would love to have some longevity at a place of employment…at least a year. Hahahah. Love Winnie the Pooh – and Tigger TTFN (ta-ta-for-now)
January 26, 2021 at 11:03 pm
I’m sorry to hear this! That kind of change can never be enjoyable AND it causes some serious stress to your body! I hope you find ways to create that longevity you spoke up! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!