Our first staff meeting was a couple of weeks ago, and everyone is smiling and happy, the way we should be getting ready for school. After the meeting, our 7th and 8th grade teams met together for a few minutes, and when finished, the conversation turned to childcare.
“Oh, that daycare does a great job!”
“I cannot wait to have my kids out of diapers!”
“That first check to the daycare after summer break is a killer!”
And on and on.
I did a little bit of eye rolling, but moving on from it fairly quickly.
Then, we are at lunch, and the group starts talking about what their husbands will and won’t eat (another instance of me vs. the female population, however, as one of my co-worker says “you are one of the girls”). The conversation progressed to a wife commenting that her mother in law cooked a separate “lunch” for her husband, a second lunch. I thought to myself, “Sounds like a hobbit to me!” Not two seconds later, a student teacher in the group made the comment under her breath, “Is he a hobbit?” I looked at her and giggled because NO ONE got the reference! I emailed her (she also happens to be an assistant on my daughter’s swim team) thanking being a bit of a nerd.
It struck me after both of those experiences the oddity of my position right now. I’m old enough that I’m not quite in touch with what’s in a new. There are apps, technology, and things the students come in with on a daily basis that I have no clue about. I don’t fit with the new crowd at school because I don’t have young kids, I don’t deal with day care, and my 17 year old drama is so much different then that 3 year old drama!
However, I’m young enough that there are no grandkids in the foreseeable future. Both daughters are still under the age of 20, and despite my health near misses, I’m feeling pretty damn good about what I can do.
It’s an odd feeling to feel a sence of disconnect at school because that’s something very new. And it’s not that I don’t feel like my school family isn’t still my school family, I just don’t know where I belong anymore inside of our larger group.
As I write this in a coffee shop in Decorah, waiting for swim practice to finish up, the band instructor, a friendship that’s developed because of my daughters at their involvement in all things music, comes up, shakes my hand and give me this big smile.
Maybe there’s hope yet! 🙂
September 5, 2017 at 8:39 pm
Hello again! It’s good to be back and to read your post. I understand the “where do I fit?” feeling. I am older than many of our young teachers’ parents, yet I’m not ready to end my teaching career. I appreciate how optimistic, yet “real” you are in your writing. All the best to you.
September 6, 2017 at 8:56 am
🙂
Thank you for reading and commenting as well! I appreciate the word optimistic when you referred to my post, because I was not feeling that when I wrote it last night! My co-worker reminded me: you aren’t in Houston, you aren’t in Southern Florida, there could be many far worse places to be right now. And she’s right, it’s all in the perspective! 🙂
September 5, 2017 at 8:52 pm
I am starting year 32 and have two grown children, three grandchildren and one on the way. Sometimes I feel out of sync with my younger colleagues, but I would never want to go back and do it again. I have learned – where you are is where you should be.
September 6, 2017 at 8:54 am
>where you are is where you should be<
This is t-shirt material!! 🙂 Thank you for putting it in a way that just makes sense. Eventually, I'll find a bit more of a place! 🙂
September 5, 2017 at 9:14 pm
I feel like you kind of described my position in the department. It seems like such a short time ago that I was the youngest, but then everyone else retired and now I am the oldest. The newest couple of teachers are just a year or two older than my oldest daughter so mid 20’s and yes, I am also dealing with that 17-year-old drama. So what is the coffee shop in Decorah? It looks like my youngest is leaning towards Luther for next year.
September 6, 2017 at 8:52 am
Really? That’s very cool about your daughter! I love Java Johns (where I was), but there’s also the Magpie w/coffee and awesome sandwiches and Impact Coffee. Has she made her college visit yet? Our youngest is leaning towards Iowa, which is scary! 🙂
September 6, 2017 at 4:11 am
It is funny to see the passage of time through the staff room eyes. I still think of myself as young, until I don’t. It can be a challenge to not have a similar cohort (whether that is age, interests, time of life, hobbies, whatever), but it sounds like you are making it work. I am surprised that at middle school you do not have more male colleagues.
September 6, 2017 at 4:44 am
A little Older than you, and feel like a dinosaur sometimes. We just have to make it work day to day.
September 6, 2017 at 8:41 am
And that’s what I’ll do. Day to day isn’t always a bad thing either. 🙂