In October of 2016, I had stroke.
#what
If you’ve been with me for the 10 years I’ve been writing I’ve been pretty open about my health issues of 2016. From my cancer diagnosis right before our daughter’s graduation to my stroke, I’ve held nothing back because why. This avenue helps me to be able to talk about in “real” life, so it works.
Anyway, I had my stroke and there were a few things I noticed immediately after the stroke:
- My handwriting got REALLY bad. Over the last five years, I’ve worked my way back to kinda bad (where I was pre-stroke), but it was awful. I still have a check registery (my wife rolls her eyes) and it was a task to read what I wrote.
- I get stuck on words. That still happens today, but with much frequency. My wife notices when this happens (and it tends to annoy her, but she’s my rock, so she also get a pass because I am annoying) and will help me out. I also will blank on names. It makes me angry when I call one student another name or look at somone and just cannot call them by name. So frustrating!
- In emotional situations, I cry WAY more easily than before. A commerical, sad/emotional part of a movie or TV show, it’s freaking water works. My wife, who has not had a stroke, is also a crier, but when I do and she doesn’t, get who gets made fun of?
#thisguy
This past weekend, we took our annual trip to Iowa City to watch the Iowa football team battle Minnesota for a bronze pig called “Floyd of Rosedale”. Now, I’m not going into details about Floyd (I’ll let Wikipedia do that), however, it is worth noting that Rival.com called Floyd “the top rivalry trophy in college football”, which obviously is true! The last two times Floyd has shown up in Iowa City have been rush the field moments, and, in 2019, I had to pull my wife out of the way as the Iowa offensive linemen paraded the 98-pound pig right past us! But I digress.
#pigtraincomingdownthetracks
With Covid, we saw no in-person games in 2020, so we were excited to be down among the throngs of people to see this game. The pre-game festivities outside the stadium were a bit muted, which I’m guessing are still a result of the pandemic, but there were still tons of tailgating, drunk people, footballs being tossed, and people dressed to the nines in their Hawkeye apparel. We got our tickets via a StubHub kind of site, so we ended up behind the Minnesota bench in the third row. All in all, some pretty sweet seats! We saw two of the pig plays of the game happen right in front of us, so we were very happy as our supplier of seats from past years was no longer able to get us tickets. These worked out well and now we have to decide if it’s worth season tickets of our own or not! But that’s another blog.
The pregame has a group of things that happen. One of them is actually getting the team on the field. As the team comes down the tunnel from the locker room, Back in Black by AC/DC comes on over the speakers and the crowd goes crazy. They can see the players and those first notes just mean that game time is that much closer. This is followed by the introduction of Enter Sandman by Metallica and as that they hit that climax at 58 seconds, the fight song starts and the Swarm comes out of the tunnel. It gives me chills thinking about it. Well, it had been two years since I’d seen this. We’ve been heading down to Iowa games for so many years that it just seemed that it had become almost a habit. We’ve been on field after huge wins (see 2019 Floyd) and walked out muttering after some ugly losses (see 2018 Northwestern). But we’ve been there. And to not be there last year was much harder than I guess I realized.
So Saturday was also Military Appreciation Day, so everyone is jazzed up of that display. Big flag, fly over by four F-35 (freaking awesome), and emotion of celebrating those in uniform is always awesome to see.
Stadium is getting packed, people are looking towards the jumbotron, and those first few guitar sounds come out over the speakers and the place goes nuts. You see the players moving down the tunnel and the anticipation goes through the roof.
And I start tearing.
#WTF
I know, right? Just the emotion of being back in a place like historic Kinnick Stadium, in Iowa City, a place that truly feels like home, having spent time with my wife’s family, knowing I’ll get to see my brother the next day, it all just came bubbling up. No, I was just sobbing, but I had a moment for sure. When Metallica came on, same damn thing. I blame it solely on the stroke because, I mean, what else could it have been?? ๐
After that, joy. I got to heckle the Minnesota coach (he was close enough he had to hear me *eye roll*), the banter with the Minnesota fans around us was just that, banter which was fun, but best of all, Floyd stayed home another year.
Emotions. They are a tricky thing. Feel them, acknowledge them, then let them go.
Except when it’s beating Minnesota. Those emotions will hand around until next September! ๐
November 16, 2021 at 8:54 am
One of the jet pilots was from Ely so that was extra special.
So many thoughts, but this covers most . . . Back in Black came on the radio yesterday. I cranked it and rolled down the windows. All the feels. That’s why I go to the Ladies Football Academy in June … (to raise $ yes) and to walk those walks.
We get to BE the swarm!
Love your slice and so happy Floyd stays home for the sixth year in a row.
November 16, 2021 at 9:16 am
Ok, what is the Ladies Football Academy? I’ve heard about this a couple of times, but no one every has really “shared” what it all about? But if you get to the be Swarm?? How awesome is that??
And the four pilots that were Iowa grads?? Very cool! ๐
November 16, 2021 at 9:24 am
2022 will be 10th and last Ladies Football Academy. Fundraiser for UICH.
All access
@iowalfa
November 16, 2021 at 9:39 am
As a fellow midwestern, I am quite familiar with all the storied traditions of big 10 football. Sorry, I’m a ILL-INI fan and still have the Chief logos from the ’80s to prove it. Alas, I am ok with a Iowa win and anyone else that beats Michigan. (LOL). My youngest nieces (twins) are currently sophomores at Iowa and sent along a homecoming pic of them in some crazy striped overalls. I have not had a stroke, but nostalgia for those traditions does make my eyes tear up just a little. Go Illini, Go!
November 16, 2021 at 10:06 am
And what do you know, Iowa plays the Illini next week! ๐ Iowa is a 10 point favorite right now, but the way they play, it should be a close game!
While we were walking around, the striped overalls were all over, but the next thing is suit jackets and pants, plastered with your team’s colors and logo. I told my wife that’s a Christmas present idea. Her reply: “That’s all well and good, but I can actually see you wearing that places, so no.” LOL!! ๐
November 16, 2021 at 11:03 am
Like Disney where everyone wants some earsโฆuntil they go home. ๐
November 16, 2021 at 12:30 pm
I always appreciate how you keep it real in this space, Darin! Your honesty and openness are what make you a great slicer!
I wasn’t sure with where you were going when you told us about the three things that changed after the stroke. But then when you started crying at the sight of the jumbotron, it clicked into place for me. Yes! It’s reasonable blame the stroke for that.
My husband and I didn’t go to schools with football teams so we’ve taken to rooting for Penn State since we moved here a dozen years ago. Thoughts on that?
November 16, 2021 at 8:00 pm
First, that opening paragraph means a lot coming from an educator like yourself. Thank you!
Now, about Penn State, not a fan on the Nitty LIons. Not. At. All.
We’ll leave it at that! ๐
November 16, 2021 at 8:54 pm
You truly are a great writer. I rode a roller coaster of emotions reading your story and can feel your passion and joy being at the game… and I’ll have to research more about this pig, Floyd. ๐
November 19, 2021 at 11:51 am
Thanks for this post, Darin. I can only imagine how tough it is to be a lover of words *and* to have difficulty working with and recalling them.
As for your football feels, I completely get that. All of it – the spirit, the display of patriotism, the JOY, the glimpse of almost-back-to-our-world-ness. I’d get sappy too. I’d smile *almost* as much as I did when Purdue beat the Hawkeyes earlier this year. #JustHadToGetThatIn
November 22, 2021 at 7:22 am
Ouch. That’s hurtful, Lainie! ๐ We beat Purdue, then I don’t have to be a freaking Minnesota fan this weekend, hoping they beat Wisconsin! ๐
When I write, I don’t lose words as easily, which is why I tend to put things here. If I happen to lose something, I can open another window, describe it in my Google search, and find it. Google search, not in my brain! ๐