Good morning and happy Monday! One of my goals for this upcoming school year is to make sure that my beautiful blog isn’t ignored as much. I might even sink a little money into it, making it truey “mine” (if something like that can be), but that’s for another topic! Just wanted to wish everyone a grand day in doing whatever it is you do!
As for the topic of my blog, I’ve written about my youngest daughter in passing before. A beautiful child who is a singing voice that is really starting to come into its own (she sang a solo as part of a 4-H group that brought people to tears) and a personality that is larger than herself for certain. She’s a happy girl, who can be furious with us one minute, and hugging us the next, like many teenagers I’m sure. The reason for this blog: social media and messaging. She’s done some not so smart things on social media because she cannot seem to keep her nose out of the drama, and it’s come around and bit her a number of times. Without going into too many details, she’s been grounded from her phone and iPod for a while because something that’s happened recently, and I made the comment that i may go through her messages on her phone and various apps.
*Insert nuclear blast here*
The argument that ensued was pretty epic dealing with personal space and a right to privacy.
My argument: my house, my rules, and you have no expectations of privacy until you are 18. If I want to see your phone, I don’t want an argument, I don’t want a “that’s mine”, nor do I want you clicking and deleting a bunch of stuff either. I ask for it, you hand it over, we are fine.
Her argument: I’m my own person and those are my private conversations. You can’t look at them because it’s my phone and my iPod. You and Mom don’t know what it’s like because all my friends are able to do whatever they want with their devices (we won’t let them be in the rooms after 10:00 PM), and I have to follow these stupid rules.
Now, I’ll admit, I was maybe 1/50 as social as she is when I was growing up, and so no, I don’t know what it’s like. However, I’m a teacher and I do my best to try to walk the walk in terms of digital citizenship. I have high expectations for both my daughters in terms of their social media use, and they are night and day when it comes to the usage. My oldest still has an egg on her Twitter profile, two years into the service, but also pushes boundaries in terms of when and where she’s texting her boyfriend. Yet, I know that things have happened, and there’s a trust factor that is not there. I believe that a parent has every right to take a phone, iPod, computer, whatever electronics, and make sure that things aren’t being done or said that we lead to bad things happening.
Am I wrong in that?
Sometimes, my wife and I get get wore down in that constant barrage of “my privacy”, that we question ourselves. Thus, this blog. So, please, chime in whether you have kids or not! Do we has parents (and when I say we, I mean collectively all of us) have that right to ask for a device, not often, when necessary? Or does my daughter have that overriding right to privacy, that her conversations shouldn’t be tarnished by adult eyes?
As you might guess, I do have my own opinions, but I’m curious where other people stand on this topic!
Thank you for humoring me on this. It’s been stuck in my consciousness for a while now, and it’s nice to get it out, and let it go!
August 17, 2015 at 9:43 pm
Love using our PLN as a sounding board on all things that matter! Family MATTERS! I have a recently flown bird at his 1st year college and a 15 year old still at home. Being a connected educator makes it hard for my eaglets to soar on social media and I know it has been for the better. We have had our own trials, but if nothing else, they understand how easy it is to trace their digital footprint and the impact it leaves. I am the “creeper” mom that tracks down and confronts inappropriate posts not only with my own, but also their friends. Because of this, I have been blocked by both my children and their friends on numerous sites. My children have a choice: unblock me or pull the plug on your account. They have choosen both. They know I will eventually see their posts and with this knowledge have checked and double checked what they put out their for others to see. (Snapchat is now their favorite since I am helpless: any thoughts?) Actually, I am at the point where I rarely check accounts and don’t creep often because they have learned to think before they post. I find more out more about my children on their friend’s accounts then I ever found on theirs- yes, I share this with them as well. Privacy? I’m with you- my house, my child, my job- I will protect you and teach you as much as I can and I hope when you leave the nest you send me a Snap once in a while to let me know where you are in this amazing world.
August 18, 2015 at 11:14 am
“Creeper” parents, yup, we’ve been called that too! I’m more connected via social media than my wife, but we still have a pretty good take on what’s out there, and offer up the “are you sure that’s the right responce” question from time to time. It’s just reassuring knowing that we aren’t the only ones going through these battles. When I see kids and the phones and hear the stories, I swear, we are on an island with how we do things. It’s always nice to know we aren’t! 🙂
August 17, 2015 at 9:44 pm
Stand strong you are doing the right thing! No one else is going to build your child’s character….it’s a tough job, but one day she will admire you for how much you love her.
August 18, 2015 at 11:12 am
Thanks, Sharon. Just gets exhausting every once and a while trying to keep up with things. We plan on getting “World’s Worst Parents” t-shirts at some point, because no doubt, we are them! 🙂