Nerves.

 

Unfortunately  I am a nervous person by nature.

 

You’d never know it by watching me as I am also very laid back, but as my stomach and sweat glands can tell you, that is not totally the truth.  As I’ve written before, I have a hard time with change.  My wife will roll her eyes with this because she’s seen my routine in action too many times to think that I’ll every move away from that.  Honestly, she’s helped me to become more of a risk taker. Heck, I’ve driven a trailer load of cows to a fair, how’s that for risks?? 🙂  This time of year is never good for those with that nervous disposition.

 

The beginning of the school year always poses unique issues for me.  New kids, new staff, new schedule, it’s hard to work through at times.  This year will be even more unique as our school is going through some painful changes.  I do believe that we’ll emerge on the other side a better district over all, but I’ve laid away an awful lot thinking and cringing about what’s going on around here.

 

And it’s here, that first day back with teachers, and my nerves are just frayed right now not only because of the new year, but because of the leadership role I’m taking on within with our professional learning communities.  I have one other person on the team who’s as nervous as I am about this, but otherwise, everyone seems perfectly comfortable with their roles.  As I tweeted out to a friend, I swear the butterflies in my stomach sound like a flight of B-17’s on an inbound bombing run!

 

BUT, I’ll be there.  I’ll present, the old adage of dread something long enough, it won’t be so bad, will play out AGAIN, and school will start up.  And I’ll be there, heart racing, mouth dry, but I’ll be there because as nervous as I get, I love this job.  I love that first day of school because those student come in and they are just as nervous as I am.  We’ll find come common ground and off we’ll go, not even thinking for a moment how uncomfortable things were to start out.

 

Nerves. While I may not like them, I’ve accepted they make me who I am, and that I’m ok with that.