This one won’t be that long but it may be hard to read.

I’ve never felt so alone as I have over the last few weeks. I’ve always had a tough time making and keeping friends. Whether my personality(I find it difficult to talk with new people) or my own insecurities (a mile long), it’s always been hard to find people that I relate to on a personal level.

Lately, it’s just been hard not to have people to “talk” to. Back in the chat room days of the Internet, finding someone to connect with was a little easier. But those days have long since passed. Most social media people I’ve come to know have drifted off as well. I was never especially close to high school friends, and honestly, there’s no reason to look for them. I have no want to reform strained relationships.

Walking away from my previous school was a hard decision for many reasons, the first being, I felt like I belonged there. I knew the work would be hard, but finding my place has been much more difficult for me on a personal level. I have a good working relationship with my teaching partner, which helps, but right now, it’s just hard.

I know it’s a cycle and I’m just feeling stressed about many things, but feeling alone is hard at 53. At this point in my life, I thought things would be different. I don’t know why because I’ve always had a small circle, but it just seems like that circle feels like it’s me looking out.

Not quite what I want my first blog of November to be about, but today’s been tough, all the way around.

Thanks for letting me vent a little bit. A shower and a good night’s sleep will help.

Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s hope it’s a little better.