Daily writing prompt
What gives you direction in life?
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Wow, this is going to be a tough one.

For many years, the direction of simply making it though.

Elementary, middle, and high school were not easy for me. I was awkward as hell, lived almost on the edge of our district, so didn’t have many friends, and am an introvert, so just getting through those days gave me direction. Getting the hell out of dodge is EXACTLY what I wanted.

College was a happy place in my life, and there, the direction was graduation. I met my best friend, met my wife, played a year of football, sang, and enjoyed the experience, but in the end, it was never going to last.

The early twenties were amazing and my direction was to enjoy life. We lived our lives to the fullest. We had a small apartment in Missouri and loved being there. We purchased our first home, a small brick house, built pre-Civil War, and made it a home.

The next 20 years were about jobs and kids. We had our first child in Missouri, then moved back to Iowa. I spent 24 years in the same district, providing for my family. No, a teacher’s salary isn’t what I could make doing something else, but for Northeast Iowa, it gave us a foundation to build on. We took trips during the summer. For a long time, I was the “swim dad”, hanging out with the “swim moms” as our kids practiced. When they got bigger, we became more active in the cross country and swim communities, as that was what they really loved.

They’ve been out of high school a while (one daughter 8 years, the other 6), and as we are further away from that time, I’ve felt more and more directionless. I’m not sure where my direction should be which is hard when you’ve had something a majority of your life. It’s not like we don’t have things going on. Our garden is ready to plant (even though it won’t stop raining). My parents are alive and kicking. Our girls always need parenting, whether they want it or not.

No direction IS, in fact, a direction, but not one that I want to travel. I don’t know. I’m just in a funk right now. We went out on Saturday and my wife said I looked angry. I wasn’t “angry” but just couldn’t shake that nothing good was going to happen to me. I was totally wrong, but it’s still was a cloud for a while.

Maybe retirement is a direction. Or a move. Or a bigger rv.

I like the quote, “All Who Wander Are Not Lost”, but I just feel a little lost right now.

So, we’ll see what happens. Until next time…..<3