I may lose my job at the end of this year. Of course, I’m not sure, but we as a district are in some financial problems. We’ve done a good job keeping ahead of it, but over the last couple of years, we’ve lost a number of students and have graduated larger classes then what are coming in kindergarten. Well, I’m being pro-active in with this, working towards a reading endorcement, something that wasn’t “out there” when I graduated from college.
I’m taking a class on inclusion of special education students in the regular education classroom, something that I’ve had experience with over the last 13 years, my years at this district. It’s interesting to listen to other teachers and the various experiences we have from district to district. Just makes me happy to teach where I teach in my little rural district. Anyway, as I walk into the classroom, I shift from teacher to student which is always different in itself. Our professor is unprepared and unorganized in how she’s presenting her information, which is driving me crazy after two classes. I’m dreading going back for the other sessions because her lack of organzation is a huge distraction to me.
Darn it. I’ll be the first to admit (and my wife will chime in her agreement) that I’m not an organized person, not at all. If this professor, a professional, is creating this feel in my stomach, how are my own students feeling right now? I dwelled on that a lot this weekend while driving back and forth to class: what does this do to my classroom? After Saturday’s class, my reaction, probably a lot! So, I have grades due anyway, so I’m spending a large part of my Sunday (taking a bit of a break right now), working to lessen the clutter. Will it be perfect when the kids walk in tomorrow? Nope. But will it be better from when the walked out on Friday? Absolutely.
We want to do what’s right for our students and I believe I create a very safe environment. However, it’s more then just how safe they feel. They have to feel comfortable, and if my own “disability” is causing sour feelings, it’s my court to change that.
And I am. I will be a long painful process, but when done, my classroom will be so much better for it. In the end, that’s what matters most.